Do you have problems? Everybody on this earth has their own set of problems. It could be a financial problem, it could be a family or relationship matter, or it could be a work-related concern. The list is going on and on. When we look at these problems they could be small problems to long-lived problems. For example, Day wage-earning person might have a problem in his mind to find work for today and at the same time, he might have a problem finding better living space for his family which is long overdue. One thing is certain that we will have problems with us forever and beyond.

How do we deal with problems and keep our minds steady?

There are two things that can happen when we encounter a problem. First, we may withdraw ourselves from the problem and surrender. Second, we may work harder at it so we will be able to get that through. If it is something important, we may not have the option to withdraw ourselves. We are left with a second option and if the problem is bigger and complex, we may stress ourselves and sometimes we break.

Stop focusing on the problem

When you start focusing on the problem. It keeps becoming bigger in your mind and preventing you from moving past the problem. I strongly believe focusing on a problem make people stuck in worry. There is always a way to get from where you are to where you want to be by focusing on ways to solve the problem instead of focusing on the problem.

Let me give you a simple example.

You mistakenly drop a glass on the floor, and it breaks. Now you have broken glass and a messy floor. You tried to clean it up and you got a cut on your hand in the process. What will happen if you try to poke the wound or pick the wound as a remedial action. The healing process will get delayed and can make things worse. What if you created the best possible healing environment for the wound to heal? The wound gets healed within a few weeks.

We will be able to deal with many problems in a similar fashion. Thoughts we have around certain problems can create and trigger emotional reactions. We will start dealing with these emotional reactions instead of actual solutions by spending our time and energy. In simple terms, when we are frightened, impatient, or angry we will not be able to bring our best potential to counter the problem. We will create a negative environment that helps problems to outgrow you.

Have you seen many corporations hire external consultants to solve their problems? The main reason for that is they are not familiar with current ways of company processes. External consultants can figure out obvious solutions which people in the company didn’t see. This happens because they are trapped in habitual ways of seeing the process. You can also try your closest friend, relative, or even paid consultant if you want to protect your privacy.

An alternative approach to taking problems head-on is to detach yourself from the problem and try to see the problem as an external party although it is your problem. Get in someone else’s shoes and try to think what might you suggest if this happens to your friend or relative. It will give you an independent and actual view without getting yourself indulged in the pain and confusing details.

On a final note, if you worry less about your problems it is easier to get through. Like all the other things in life more you practice more control you get.

Fear is another most discussed feeling in the world. It takes many forms such as “I’m just being careful”, “I am taking my time”, “I’ve tried it before and couldn’t figure it out”. There are some smart ways to put it out “ Many has failed, and I want to make sure that I will start it perfect”. You will have a ton of such examples to fill this article.

If you examine a fearful thought that they some similarity in tier formation. Many of these have either an explanation or justification for why something cannot be done. These are all related to quitting or not being started. Fearful thoughts hold you back like a leash on an energetic dog. A critic that tells you why these things don’t work because they are unrealistic, complex, or foolish. These feelings will not do goo good for you and interfere with desires, dreams, hopes, and progress.

Where do you start?

Fearful objections sound so reasonable when they are allowed to grow in your mind. Do not mix this up with attempting dangerous things which you aren’t qualified for. For example, you want to play for the Chicago Bulls team. You’re 40 years old, obese, just 5’5’’ tall. You must forget about it. This could be called toxic positivity. What we are discussing here are fears that directly interfere with your life day in day out. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being unsuccessful etc is the dream snatchers. For example, thoughts like “ What will everybody think of me”, “I don’t think I can change myself”, “I don’t have time, budget, or confidence”,

Quick story

There was an insurance guy and his job is to sell insurance policies to people. He wanted to double his income out of the commissions however he had a fear that he can not call people on weekends. He was afraid that if he does it people would be mad at him. He fell short of his targets every month. One day he picked up the phone during the weekend. Surprisingly it paid off as many people were relaxed on the weekend and were able to talk with more clarity. His sales shot up and he was able to receive a bonus for his performance as well.

What can you do about it?

Recognize the fearful thoughts as and when they enter your mind. Try to counter it with why you should carry on rather than quitting or why you should start. It just takes some courage and little practice to master it. In this way, you can start doing it until these fearful thoughts disappear. The more you get control over these thoughts you will feel that life is becoming much easier and more fun.

For you and me and Science says that socializing more tends to make you happier. We all know it by the experience, and we laugh a lot in herds. Is not it true? Relationships, Friendships, family all make our time enjoyable as humans.

There is a different viewpoint when it comes to highly intelligent people. They do enjoy the companionship however the socializing with friends actually not the main factor in the satisfaction of life for this community.

Let’s try to understand what causes this phenomenon.

Smart people quickly adapt to complex situations, so they don’t really depend on other people to break it down for them and this is common for benefits of staying in close connection with social groups for meals, lodging, security, and many more are no longer relevant for these people as they are self-sufficient to get these needs fulfilled.

Another point is when you are a smart person, you tend to have long-term goals. Your focus stays intact on long-term goals. The more you spend time socializing means you are not getting your tasks done for your long-term goal. This will become a cause of being unhappy because you are getting distracted from your focus.

Law of attraction

This is a popular belief in our society nowadays where if you believe something strongly and act towards it you will receive it based on universal forces in simple terms. Usually, if you set something in mind strongly then often, you will find a way to achieve your goal. Positive thinking is coupled with positive actions will drive you to great results or almost what you desire. Now let’s turn our heads to intelligent people.

Relate those goals to a group of people, It just takes one person to say that this cannot be done. You will quickly infuse some negative energy into the team. Did you get why most intelligent people prefer to be alone? They would like to work on their positive energy to get the problem solved rather than adding some negativity from other people.

Solving problems

In the past, we rely on teams to solve problems. But with the evolution we have improved our innate abilities of solving complex problems by ourselves. This is mainly aided by latest technology, better education, and more resource availability. Now we are marching towards two heads concept to too many cooks spoil the soup concept. This is because it is much easier to focus when you are working alone than in group of people. Obviously, we can seek support of friends where we need expertise of people.

After all these points, Socializing is important because still we are social beings. We should get out and explore the world and try some exciting things. It will help to break away from all seriousness of life. It will relax your mind and ease the work pressure.

If you like to spend time alone by reading some good books, exploring new skills, working on a tough projects, or working on your long-term goals don’t assume that you are a loner or anti-social. You could be smarter than us!

Let’s get some problems solved champ.

Do you familiar with the phrases like “I never get any break”, “I can’t help it, I’ve always been in that way”, “I will never be successful”, “I don’t have enough time.”? This is what we are going to talk about today. Everyone in the world has gone through this at least a single time in someday. All these thoughts get in our way if we are trying to achieve something in our lives.
Sometimes we repeat these lines too many times a day which will infuse so much negativity into our minds unintentionally. It will get registered in your mind when you do this for a certain amount of time, and it will become a huge mental barrier.

Let’s analyze the phrase that many of us go through frequently. “I don’t have enough time”. It implies that you don’t get things done on time frequently as you have a lot on your plate. Then another negative thought sneaked in as “I don’t have any time to lose”. Restlessness starts to kick in from there onwards. Do you see the chain of thoughts going around? You started with one phrase, but it sets fire to the whole block and imagine how does your day goes if you do it daily. Will these types of thoughts give you any joy? The effect of such a chain is strictly negative.

Now, look at yourself, what is your biggest limiting belief? Is it that you think that you are not good enough or lucky to have what you want to achieve in your life?. You might think that you are not deserved to be successful to other people control your life to a greater extent. Remember each time you encounter such a thought, whatever it is, it’s not worth keeping and certainly not worth defending yourself against it. This will put a wall between you and your desired goal.

How do we overcome it?

The good news is there is way to get rid of these negative thoughts which ultimately remove any negative impacts that carries with them.

• Monitor how your thoughts flow

You will have to first understand how your brain is wired with these thoughts. If you start to observe how do your negative thoughts come alive? What is the most common time they are coming into your mind? Is there any specific place likewise you can explore your mind to start breaking these chains. You will start to see a possible cure once you are conscious of your thoughts.

• Be rebellious and refuse to continue

when there is a negative thought simply refuse to continue. Make a firm commitment to yourself to stop reinforcing negative beliefs by discussing them. As familiar negativity comes to mind, gently dismiss as you would fly at a picnic. Don’t give it your valuable attention.

• Replace the negative thought with a positive one

Even in our mind, there is a limited space to think, and you cannot think two thoughts at once. Start to make slight changes to your thinking. For example. If you come across “I don’t have time” just tweak it to “how can I make some time for it”. Everything takes time to be in control so does success. Practice makes things perfect.

In this way, you can save your energy for positive ideas and action. you’ll discover that abundance and joy will be right around the corner once you get rid of these negative thoughts consciously.