Do you have problems? Everybody on this earth has their own set of problems. It could be a financial problem, it could be a family or relationship matter, or it could be a work-related concern. The list is going on and on. When we look at these problems they could be small problems to long-lived problems. For example, Day wage-earning person might have a problem in his mind to find work for today and at the same time, he might have a problem finding better living space for his family which is long overdue. One thing is certain that we will have problems with us forever and beyond.

How do we deal with problems and keep our minds steady?

There are two things that can happen when we encounter a problem. First, we may withdraw ourselves from the problem and surrender. Second, we may work harder at it so we will be able to get that through. If it is something important, we may not have the option to withdraw ourselves. We are left with a second option and if the problem is bigger and complex, we may stress ourselves and sometimes we break.

Stop focusing on the problem

When you start focusing on the problem. It keeps becoming bigger in your mind and preventing you from moving past the problem. I strongly believe focusing on a problem make people stuck in worry. There is always a way to get from where you are to where you want to be by focusing on ways to solve the problem instead of focusing on the problem.

Let me give you a simple example.

You mistakenly drop a glass on the floor, and it breaks. Now you have broken glass and a messy floor. You tried to clean it up and you got a cut on your hand in the process. What will happen if you try to poke the wound or pick the wound as a remedial action. The healing process will get delayed and can make things worse. What if you created the best possible healing environment for the wound to heal? The wound gets healed within a few weeks.

We will be able to deal with many problems in a similar fashion. Thoughts we have around certain problems can create and trigger emotional reactions. We will start dealing with these emotional reactions instead of actual solutions by spending our time and energy. In simple terms, when we are frightened, impatient, or angry we will not be able to bring our best potential to counter the problem. We will create a negative environment that helps problems to outgrow you.

Have you seen many corporations hire external consultants to solve their problems? The main reason for that is they are not familiar with current ways of company processes. External consultants can figure out obvious solutions which people in the company didn’t see. This happens because they are trapped in habitual ways of seeing the process. You can also try your closest friend, relative, or even paid consultant if you want to protect your privacy.

An alternative approach to taking problems head-on is to detach yourself from the problem and try to see the problem as an external party although it is your problem. Get in someone else’s shoes and try to think what might you suggest if this happens to your friend or relative. It will give you an independent and actual view without getting yourself indulged in the pain and confusing details.

On a final note, if you worry less about your problems it is easier to get through. Like all the other things in life more you practice more control you get.